I spent 10 days with an Indian family in Chennai, in the state of Tamil Nadu. We just have finished trying on my new Sari for the 9-day Hindu festival Navaratri as I sit down on the coconut mat on the pleasantly cool tiled floor to write this article. We have chosen the dazzling pink and orange Sari with the bright green blouse that I will be wearing tomorrow, complete with petticoat and jewelery. The Sari belongs to mother Jothi and she is so kind to borrow me her pretty garment.
Navaratri is celebrated throughout India for 9 days in honor of the Divine Mother Durga. Each day, a different deity is worshipped and tomorrow night, we will go out and visit neighbours and friends of the family. The room I'm sitting in was just filled with boisterous laughter, thousands of colorful Sari fabrics were lying on the floor, Jodhi was sitting in front of the open closet energetically selecting blouses for me to try on and her daughters Shamili (28 years) and Durga (33 years) were loudly voicing their opinions in an exuberant mood. I love these moments.
But let's start from the beginning...
Who are these people in whose midst I am allowed to live for 10 days? Who are these people who accepted me like a family member and welcomed me as a guest in their 3-room apartment on the coast of the megacity Chennai (India's 6th largest city, more than 12 million inhabitants)? It all began like this: From September 6th -15th 2023, I was guest at at the Temple of Consciousness in Aliyar attending 3 extraordinarily interesting courses, Kundalini Awakening Foundation Course and Introspection 1 & Introspection 2. One day during lunch, a lively young Indian woman called Shamili decided to sit next to me and hasn't let me out of her sight since that encounter; every time we crossed paths on the campus, she called out to me in her bright, cheerful voice, waved at me and came up to me, hugged me and accompanied me a bit on the way. And then, one day, it was myself who waved cheerfully at her from the window of the 1st floor of the Training Center and loudly drawing her attention to me as she walked past the building to exchange a hearty laugh with her. In this moment, I realised that she had won my heart and we have become friends.
I love the warmth of Indian women
The warmth of Indian women, I find, is of enormously touching quality and a source of huge joy. Physical contact plays a major role in every encounter, hands automatically find each other and fingers are interlocked, kisses are kissed on the cheek and a lot of closeness is given in mutual exchange; I have observed many Indian women from young to old age walking down the street holding hands because they enjoy their togetherness in that moment and they are defying together whatever may come their way. I love this form of human connection. I must have been Indian in a previous life because I like this way of connecting so very much... or maybe it has always been part of human DNA until we moved further and further away from the original behaviour of mammals. Today, the natural need for physical contact and its healthy hormonal side effects (release of oxytocin and serotonin) often has been pushed so far out of our (European) society that we have ended up in isolation. Less and less we are able to feel and make ourselves be felt. Loneliness and social disorders such as depression are the consequences and are nowadays a global phenomenon.
In any case, I really like the Indian way of connecting to women and Shamili took my heart by storm with her welcoming and cheerful manner. The same day she finished her course and took the plane back to Chennai, her sister Durga flew in from Chennai for another course. That's how I met Durga, which was the second extraordinary encounter with this special Indian family.
Durga was taking part in a "Moanam" course, which means that she was obliged to remain silent for the entire duration of her stay. We got to know each other in a way that is truly unusual: I talked to her and she replied by nodding or shaking her head or typing her answers into our Whatsapp chat when we totally did not have a clue what the other one was saying 😆 It must have looked very funny to see me talking vividly to her over lunch and Durga listening to me in silence and then typing answers into her phone. We had amazingly deep conversations this way and also developed a deep connection to each other. Durga is a beautiful and sensitive woman and we agreed on many fundamental views in life.
When we said goodbye at the Temple of Consciousness, Durga invited me to her home in Chennai, where she lives with Shamilie, her parents and the little white Spitz Teddy. After the course, we initially scattered into all directions, the sisters back to Chennai and myself to Sri Lanka. A few days later, I received these touching words from Durga:
“Our friendship happened only in a few days, but I will cherish it forever. Please try your best to come visit us in Chennai.”
And so I did.
Story to be continued.
Lots of Love,
Your Salome
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